As the other members of Arbor Day Massacre were busy tending to
real life things(suckers), Conner and I had nothing to do. So we put together a little number for all your listening pleasure. Get your iPods ready for a new song.
Haven't had a quote in a while so here is a good one.
We are talking to Girl and I say jokingly "I'll give you a golden shower." Girl is so drunk she says while drop dead serious, "Oh, I love showers, they are so sexy. Don't get me talking about sexy things I am soooo horny."
The name "Girl" has been assigned to protect the privacy of the horny.
"I feel like a fucking idiot."
"I AM a fucking idiot!"
I'd like to invite you on a little journey called the truth...
I have a class at nine am every monday wednesday friday that, to say the least, I really need to attend because the subject matter is difficult and I don't really understand it. Usually I try hard to make it and even occasionally learn. But today I woke up at 10, drunk as hell, and gave Zak a ride to get his car. Which brings me to the title of this post, waking up drunk is totally sweet.
It really is. I puked last night and I haven't done that in months, but I woke up drunk this morning and right now I'm feeling a bit euphoric. Waking up drunk ...[Read More]
The idea came from Jimmy, but it is worth repeating. It's called the R. Kelly; you take a shot of Vodka and then the bar tender pours beer on your face. Send one to the next slut you see at the bar!
>Favorite sexual position: Hee hee, I love it when someone hits their cock on my neckfat... and leave me with a nice pearl necklace
Fantasy: To open my own all you can eat buffet by the time I'm 24 so I can make lots of money and eat as much as i want for free.
Dream Date: I love long walks on the beach
(hee hee, I know it's cheesey!!), and making love the sand... it's even hotter if a few people are watching!
Pet Peeve: I hate bitchy girls who have an attitude for no reason
Turn ons: When guys wear their hats backwards and have their rap music playing reallllly loudly. Gets me wet! tee hee!
Turn offs: I hate it when guys have greasy ponytails, or unkempt stuble! Image is important to me!
In 100 words or less, comment as to why you should be able to take this fine piece of femininity on a date the next time she is in Laramie...creativity counts!!!
Ok. I noticed something. I want you all to do this. go to www.apple.com/trailers. Now, watch the trailer for Apocalypto. Watch it all the way through once. Ok, upon first viewing you might be saying to yourself, "ok Kellen, What the fuck was that and what was I supposed to experience?"
Stay with me...
Now, watch the trailer again and go to about 1 min and 45 seconds into the trailer and pause it. now press the right arrow to progress the film frame by frame.
Wait for it!!! Then BLAMO! (Inc.) you'll know when you see it. Man Mel Gibson is amazing.
So far my life in the dirty south ain't too bad. The wings here are great. Holla if you like southern BBQ.
Right. Anyway, I've been a little disappointed that since I've been here I've yet to see some gay-porn linking post from the Beast, or even a Jesus-being-ass-fucked-by-santa picture from Austin that I could view on a government computer and lose my job over.
Luckily, the good 'ole USAF comes to the rescue. There are several sites out there which poke fun at the profession of arms, and specifically the Air Force. Usually the comics are written fr ...[Read More]