Just glance this thing over first.... It's David Lynch's website for transcendental meditation and WORLD PEACE


So with that in mind, let me tell you about David (motherfucking) Lynch's speech at school last night. Admittedly I hadn't in almost two days when I went, busy busy busy, so I had to do a bit of my own transcendental meditation during the talk.


1) Lynch spoke for 10 minutes, talking about movies the way a freshman in intro to film talks (the music... needs to harmonize with the film. I decide camera angles with feel, it's all feeling to me... does it feel right?), interspersing these ramblings with more "important" ramblings about transcendental meditation (apparently my consciousness is the size of a golfball... I think I'm comfortable with that.... wait that means my dick is much larger than my consciousness)


2) John Hagelin spoke next (who's important becaue HE was in the movie "what the bleep do we know?"), on string theory and universal connectivity. Now I don't know a whole lot about physics, but I'm pretty sure string theory is a mathematical solution to various wholes in physical theory, not the metaphysical explanation of the unity of all things ("at the vibrational level, all things are exactly the same" Mr. Hagelin... um, vibrational level?).


3) In case you didn't notice, the words unity, peace, enlightenment, subjectivity were uttered thousands of times, to the point that they lost meaning altogether... ending with this doozey from Lynch: "The unity of the enlightenment will grow so powerful that it will create world peace."


4) They brought out an EKG to measure some kid's brainwaves as he meditated... the EKG kept shorting out (his consciousness must be much bigger than mine)


5) While explaining how meditation will transform the entire world, leading to a utopia of people sitting on their asses all day long, we were never taught how to meditate. (Apparently you have to pay for the class)


6) David Lynch helped found the American University for World Peace in Washington D.C. where "peace is needed most"


7) THEY'RE A FUCKING CULT!!!


So let's recap... Yale spent thousands of dollars getting almost 400 people into one building (they actually ran out of seats in the largest chapel on campus... yeah, all of our important meetings happen in chapels) to be inundated with the benefits of joining some cult David Lynch is in, only to leave not actually understanding how to join this cult. Wait a sec... was I in a movie?



SUCKERS!!!!