Check this shit out



If this isn't the most pathetic mormon rip off of Tucker's hook up application, I don't know the difference between bukkake and butt sex (but I have confused the two before, sorry TaiPei).



So in honor of fucking Lance (who I've already applied to date), here's the "who wants to fuck Beast" application...



As a word of the wise... I'm a self-centered asshole, who loves midgets and anal, will treat you like dogshit in bed (because I've got serious ego problems), and will leave bruises and/or scars. But who fucking cares, because I go to fucking Yale, will be loaded 10 years, and am better than any stupid chick that responds to this.



So if you want to fuck Beast, email me at michael.quinn@yale.edu with:



your name

your age

where you live

when you want to fuck me



and a general description of yourself



Include at least 2 photos of yourself, preferably three.



Oh yeah, and you'll get bonus points if you fuck me before going on a date with Lance, serious points...





I cry after sex, because Jesus hates my body